Relationships: The Essence of Our Lives

Nothing like a death in the family can bring one to a level of introspection and brutal self-honesty.

My aunt died on Valentine's Day.  I was not very close to her -- surely my other cousins were much closer to her.  But, even though we did not see each other often, I was always so excited to see her.  She represented to me warmth, sincerity, integrity, and great nationalism -- something not often found in people these days.  She was a woman of conviction ... she stood up for what she believed.  People may not have shared her position on issues, but they respected her.  That is the person I saw her to be ... the person she was to me.

During the number of eulogies said this afternoon, there were many "Sorry"'s that were said.  What struck me most is that many of the regrets of those left behind were basically framed around allowing a divide in their relationship.  And, that got me thinking.

What are we here for anyway?  And, there was but one answer that came to me at Church today.

We are here to love each other.  Period.

At the end of our lives, or the lives of those we know around us, we really have to ask ourselves what matters most.  I looked at those around me today, and for some I saw great pain, for others a sort of numbness.  And, I asked myself if allowing the disagreement to divide was worth anything at all.  And, the answer was NO.  Nothing can be worth crossing another person out of your life out of anger or resentment.  In the end, all that negativity eats you up, as well.  And then, when the other is gone, you look back and it seems so meaningless.

Writing now, I do not want to present myself falsely ... that I don't fall into the trap of allowing division between me and those I love.  I am guilty of that.  We all are.  But, what I have learned ... or better yet, relearned ... again today, is we are here to love one another.

Now that does not mean to be a doormat. By all means, everyone must stand on some ground of belief or opinion.  But, taking a stand does not have to equate to creating a divide.  It's tough.  But, I think it can be done with grace.